Fertile spaces: Is it ever OK to pull on the dancefloor?

But in our technologically facilitated world of endless dating opportunities, pulling someone just because they happened to be standing next to you on a dancefloor isn’t without its charm.

“Honestly, pulling in clubs is kinda romantic compared to dating apps,” says 28-year-old Sarah when I ask her whether she thinks pulling on a night out is okay, or definitively gross. Becky, also 28, hates dating apps with a passion and prefers to pull in clubs, but she might just be bitter because of that Bumble guy called her a “douche-canoe” for not responding to a last-minute hookup text.

There is a right way to pull on dancefloors, and that’s not to legitimate the behaviour of predatory creeps — always complain to security or tell a friend if you feel like someone’s invading your personal space or they’re making you feel unsafe. I’m not here to write a “how to flirt without being a creep” guide, other than to say, read the other person’s body language, smile and if they don’t smile back, move away. Literally every woman I know has been aggressively harassed, even assaulted, in a nightclub, so don’t be part of that problem. And never go specifically to a dance music night with the intention of pulling: have some integrity, you’re not the Conservative Party! Plus, you’ll probably just wind up bitter and disappointed, and that does not a fun night make, for you or your mates. But that’s not to say that if the opportunity comes your way, you shouldn’t take it.

There’s an etiquette to dancefloor pulling. “The initial pull is fine,” Becky explains, recounting a recent hook-up at London club night Secretsundaze, “but chewing each other’s faces off for half an hour is pretty gross.” Sarah has a more definitive set of rules. “No riding on chairs in the corners of clubs, no overt fingering, not too much spit or tongue on show. I’ve witnessed all of these things. It’s not pretty.”