Fertile spaces: Is it ever OK to pull on the dancefloor?

For me, there’s no better place to pull than the cramped environs of a club smoking area. It’s cold, so you’re in a tight physical proximity to your potential paramour. You’ve got the same attitude towards mortality on account of the fact you’re both smoking (nihilists belong together, you see.) You’ll have similar music tastes, on account of the fact that you’re at the same night. Plus, MDMA is a very loving drug!

But is it okay to treat dancefloors like 3D Tinder, or does this devalue the entire clubbing experience for everybody? In recent years, it’s become socially unacceptable to smash face with a total stranger while a 4/4 beat reverberates through your solar plexus and retching clubbers scramble out of your way. For me and my friends, pulling on dancefloors is a bit distasteful, a bit sleazy. Bait, basically. “It’s kind of lame, to be honest,” says 29-year-old Nicky. “I’ve always quietly judged people who go out and slobber on each other in clubs. Have a dance, flirt, enjoy the music, then go somewhere private for your passionate sesh.”

Plus, it’s annoying. “I find it usually annoys other people around you,” agrees 28-year-old Charlotte. While there are the odd moments of romance – I know one couple who literally met over a line of coke, nostrils bumping in the middle Lady And The Tramp style — for the most part we’re going clubbing for the music, not the bang.

But it wasn’t always like this.