Enough of the $80 beach towels: Daft Punk need to deliver new music and a live tour

I love Daft Punk. I'm not just a passing fan who knows a few of their tracks – I genuinely adore them. They were the first ever dance music act that I really appreciated and the first I was properly exposed to without knowing it (excluding listening to Clubmix 2001 on repeat in my Dad's car). What’s not to like? Two outrageously cool robots projecting a mixture of heavy artillery bangers, disco-infused ballads and perfect pop crossovers that work just as well in clubs and on stereos as they do on adverts and radio shows.

I'm finding it hard to write this without it becoming a full-on ode to the robots who've helped shape dance music as we know it. Alas, that's not what I'm here for because I'm actually really pissed off right now. Why? Because we've been made to wait for good new music and, ultimately, a live tour for far too long. Daft Punk are currently coasting on hype and hysteria and it's driving fans insane. As Delia Smith would say to Thomas and Guy-Man "Come on, where are you? Let's be having you."

While 'Random Access Memories' showcased a new level of inventiveness, ambition and production quality, it just didn’t hit the sweet spot. The tracks were over the top and grandiose and although the robots were clearly travelling on a different path to normal, it was one nobody really wanted them to take.

A track like ‘Robot Rock’ works because of its simplicity and functionality but also because it was so suited for the dancefloor. Unless you’re playing at an ironic disco event or a Paft Dunk tribute night, there’s nothing on 'RAM' that's really suited for a club environment.

I didn’t fall in love with the duo because of the tracks that featured guest artists, so why was I going to fall head over heels upon hearing every single cut on ‘RAM’? The likes of Pharrell and Nile Rodgers joining the squad seemed like a gimmick more than a welcomed addition. No-one else featured on ‘Around The World’ and look how good that ended up.

The last time I truly felt excited about Daft Punk was the when they composed the Tron Legacy soundtrack. It felt so perfectly suited for the duo and although the film wasn't as good as we'd hoped, the score was exceptional.

Right so, let's just get this straight. 'Random Access Memories' came out in 2013 and 'Tron Legacy' in 2010 so that means technically I've gone seven years without something that's really, truly inspired me as a Daft Punk fan. So what's been going on been since 'RAM' dropped? To be frank, not much.

There was a pretty epic GRAMMYs performance in 2014 with Stevie Wonder, Pharrell and Nile Rodgers but that was 'Get Lucky' and I obviously feel a bit nauseous when I hear that, even three years later. This year's awards performance was about as limp as it gets as well. Sure, they were only featuring on a track they'd produced for The Weeknd and it's not completely indicative of them as a whole but wow that was underwhelming. They could have done better, especially as a minute-long spot at the end of the track showed them bashing on what looked like a Fischer Price toy box.

So what else have they done? Oh yeah, merchandise. Stop the press, they've brought out a huge range of toys and gifts for fans to wax inexcusable prices on. There are yo-yos, frisbees, caps and anything you or Daft Punk's marketing team can possibly conceive but it's nothing real, is it?

I drew the line when I saw that a beach towel with the Daft Punk logo on it came in at a laughably-high price of $80. Don't even get me started on the 'artisan' candle that's $40.

And then arrived the pop-up store in LA where all of these pointless items were displayed alongside instruments used on 'Random Access Memories'. Great, so now I can look at instruments that helped to create a distinctly average album alongside objects that turn your stomach when you see the price tag, all after queueing for around four hours to get in.

You can probably tell by now that I've gone from a fairly loving state to an aggravated one, quite quickly. Like I said before, this is an act that I've grown up adoring, a duo who have shaped the sounds I consume on a daily basis and I just want them back. They're masters of hype and their marketing is impressive so I guess it's hats (helmets) off to them but now it feels like it's at our expense.

Fans like myself are bored of the constant waiting and hoping. It's been ten years since Alive 2007, arguably the greatest live tour of all time, one that set the benchmark high for every tour since, but a decade has now passed. By now, a whole new generation of fans want to be a part of Daft Punk's history, they want to be able to say "we were at their 2017 tour and it changed our lives". Put it this way, I'd rather spend $80 on a ticket to see them than on a towel. I believe that this is the year we'll get a new Daft Punk show and if we do, let it be for all to see and consume.

Funster is Mixmag's Deputy Digital Editor and although he loves Daft Punk, he's going to throw in the beach towel soon. Follow him on Twitter here