A play-by-play guide to how bad We Are Your Friends is

There's a few absolute corkers in this film. We found ourselves laughing a few times (although we were the only ones). For instance, at the pool party Carter goes on a long speech about how to DJ. It's hilarious. Talking about BPMs, heart-rates and going through the genres. All this bullshit about starting slow and building up, which in theory is correct but if you're blasting out EDM then all subtlety goes out the window mate.

"128 synergises most with the heartbeat, that's your magic number" Oh really does it? Sweet I'll just jack up my tracks to just short of 130 and that'll really get the crowd going. Maybe if you're dropping electro but he's talking about 'house' so that provided a laugh.

A telling quote also came when the guys walk into the first club and the management say "Do not play any of the tracks on this list". It wouldn't surprise us if that's how the big dogs get down.

"Please don't play this Blasterjaxx remix of Lil Wayne and Steve Aoki as it's timed with our pyrotechnics and Mr Aoki has prepared a cake for it". You don't see Garnier or Jeff Mills handing over a do-not play list. Shockingly they don't feature in the film about becoming a successful DJ.

"Don't bro me if you don't know me" and "if they look like you invite them all" are particularly chauvinistic lines but our favourite dodgy line comes in the form of a howler from James Reed.

When Efron plays a snippet of his track to Reed, the big time and clearly extremely 'knowledgable' DJ quips " that there sounds like early Juan Atkins".

We shit you not the track in question sounds almost exactly like this.

Sorry Juan, you don't deserve to be named in this pile of shit. We suggest you get your legal teams fired up because that's straight slander.