Tweeting his ambition to buy the London Trocadero - a now-closed entertainment complex - and create something similar to Berlin's Berghain in terms of hours and sound, he's hoping for some financial help in order to do so.
After the closure of Plastic People last year, Text Records boss says "there is no club in London right now where the sound is so good it will change your life." That's exactly why he hopes the Trocadero owner "likes to listen to Mala on a Funktion-One in a dark room."
Unlike Berghain, though, he says he'd let anyone through the doors. We're not entirely sure how serious he is about the venture but he has started a hashtag on Twitter to get it known.
Go on, Kieran! Take this issue as serious as your life...
Dave Turner is Mixmag's Digital News Editor, follow him on Twitter