The Secret DJ: "You'll die of a heart attack if you stress about your place in the game"

Closely followed by “TOO LOUD”. The sort of people who think volume is better than clarity are the same people who think one car is faster than another because it is red. When everything front of house is maxed out you’ve nowhere to go. You’re beating people over the head, not massaging them. And this isn’t just a beginner’s issue. The number of times I’ve played with a big name whose contract demands that the system be turned down until they come on is, frankly, an embarrassment. And the fact people cheer a few decibels more volume instead of the quality of the DJ’s first tune is saddening.

Then there’s the fixed set. If anything, touring DJs are the worst culprits. Arriving like a rigid plank, doing a tired turn and never looking up is the sign of someone who really isn’t there. Might as well put a mix on. Giant chrome egos parachuting in five minutes before their set and ignoring the night as a whole, seeing everything in terms of themselves … yeah. Say no more.

Nice people do well, bad people do better. But there is nothing at all wrong with ‘merely’ doing well. Trying too hard to get to the top usually involves clambering over the corpses of your peers. If you only focus on the magnitude of your career rather than the quality of it, you will only ever be somebody people want to avoid.

Don’t over-value what you do. People who get stressed and are too up-themselves are deeply unhappy, and their faces resemble an over-tightened beige wingnut. If you’re pompous you’ll explode when asked to do the boring, simple things like speak to people, take requests or deal with tech issues. These things always happen, so why expect them not to? You’ll also die early of a heart attack if you stress about billing and your place in the game. People just know. If a small-town promoter puts you lower down the poster than him, don’t make a scene. Everyone in that town already knows he is a dickhead. A reputation for humility and kindness is like gold. A reputation as a bellend might as well be a slow countdown to no gigs.

Of course, I’ve done all these things and more. Some recently. But I’d rather be an otter who makes mistakes than a shark who pretends he doesn’t. Any day.

Follow The Secret DJ on Twitter here

This feature is from the September issue of Mixmag