Seven drug stories that will make you laugh/cry/gurn

Despite being completely illegal and one of the most damaging industries in the world, we've seen that some people will go to almost any lengths when it comes to the selling and distribution of prohibited drugs.

We've reported on a wealth of frankly ridiculous stories of drug busts, heinous schemes and everything in between and we thought it was time they were all housed in one place.

Here is a collection of the stupidest to date. Complete and utter madness.

And here we have a record breaker. The biggest cocaine find in New Zealand's history went down in July 2016 as police found over $14 Million (NZ) dollars worth smuggled inside a sequinned horse's head.

Like something out of The Thomas Crown Affair, this beautifully sculpted piece of equestrian art was jam-packed with over 35kg of the white stuff and the culprits can probably expect life imprisonment for this one. Three men were arrested in conjunction with the crime.

Neigh-t good.

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No this isn't something from Wacky Races or an episode of The Simpsons. This actually happened. As we said when we reported on this last month: "Ain't no border fence high enough".

Smugglers tried to catapult 47lbs of marijuana over the Mexican border and into the US. Of course, this hare-brained scheme didn't work, and the drugs were seized. Shame, really, god loves a trier.

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Tesco says every little helps but in this case, it was a lot of cocaine. The supermarket giant received a rogue shipment of bananas to a superstore in Wokingham.

Yes, the fruit was a whiter this time as a worker who was unpacking the tasty yellow treats came across five 1kg bags of white powder. It's not out of the question for it to be linked to someone from in-store but the last we heard was that police were investigating.

Either way, the value came in at around £600,000 and we're sure whoever had their plan foiled is going bananas....sorry.

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100,000 is a lot. One million is stupid. 10 million? That's ridiculous, but we've got to go bigger.

Last month a large-scale production of ecstasy pills was halted by Dutch police and ingredients for over one billion little ones were found. One billion. That's a fucking absurd amount of pingers and the biggest bust in the Netherlands' history.

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If you think the Tesco story was bad, think again.

The same happened at Aldi in 2015. Another banana shipment and another huge batch of cocaine, although this one clocked in at a little bit more than £600,000. Try €15 Million.

Maybe the Tesco scam was a result of this, maybe they thought 'ah that seems like a good idea, let's try ourselves'. Either way, they've ended in similar fashion, with a complete failure and seizure. Unlucky.

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A stash of Kinder eggs stuffed with cocaine was found by police during a raid on Jono's Pub in North West London. Fucking hell Jono.

Jono's Pub was accused of turning a "blind eye" to drug dealing after Kinder eggs containing the Class A drug were seized on a number of occasions. Two eggs that contained five and six wraps of cocaine were found hidden in bricks during a licensing check in November, while another was found on a man who admitted to carrying one of the chocolate treats containing three wraps of cocaine in his underwear after police threatened to strip-search him.

That's pretty inventive you have to admit but we'd be a bit disappointed if we had cocaine in our kinder egg and not a tiny little plastic helicopter that takes 10 minutes to build and one minute to break.

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This one's like something straight out of Brass Eye.

A number of drones were caught flying in and out of Pentonville Prison carrying phones and drugs to inmates. Back in August last year, a man was spotted acting suspiciously around the prison. Turns out he wasn't just enjoying some harmless drone action, he was transporting goods to the prisoners inside.

Again, inventiveness levels here are high but did anyone think this was really going to work?

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