Holy Ship! posts flyers asking partygoers not to fornicate with the pizza - News - Mixmag
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Holy Ship! posts flyers asking partygoers not to fornicate with the pizza

Please keep your hands... and other parts... to yourself

  • Valerie Lee
  • 9 January 2018
Holy Ship! posts flyers asking partygoers not to fornicate with the pizza

Annual party cruise Holy Ship! has embarked on its first sailing of 2018 and some interesting, eyebrow-raising flyers have appeared on board.

Kill The Noise posted a confused image on Twitter of a posted flyer that reads: "We must remind you that foods available in the cafe are for consumption only. Due to incidents on previous sailings in which patrons engaged in uncouth behavior in the cafe, we feel it is our duty to remind our guests that pizza is for eating, not fornicating."

The letter, which unsurprisingly caused some nervous laughs and hilarious reactions, is allegedly a joke, but reads in such a formal tone that it definitely leaves some room for imagining what debauchery could've gone down on board.

"Lewd and/or sexual acts with our cuisines are not only frowned upon but are prohibited by maritime law. If you suffer from Sitophilia, or the sexual desire to fornicate with foods such as our pizzas, please inquire with one of our specialists in the medical bay below the deck." A quick Google search confirms that Sitophilia is, indeed, an actual 'condition'.

Read the full posting below.

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