The painfully titled EDMTV is here and it's as bad as you think it is.
Launching as a website, it's set to arrive on major American television provider DirectTV on March 14. EDMTV calls itself the world's first EDM-centric television channel and, no big surprise, is as cringeworthy as its name suggests.
Where to start?! We're not sure, because EDMTV has managed to combine all the worst parts of EDM in an attempt at creating a sustainable 'TV channel'.
The channel's site goes hard on futuristic graphics and little else. The 'programming' consists of a series of continuous, low-quality video streams. There's EDMTV, which presents the official videos of all your favourite EDM bangers; The Zone, which offers what sounds like 'experimental' library music and 'trippy' visuals that'll remind you of all the harrowing times you've had at psy-trance parties (please note inverted commas); EDM Festivals, which seems to randomly replay Tomorrowland footage (perhaps skirting by copyright issues thanks to SFX's current distractions) and, most horribly of all, BabeMethod, which offers tacky 'glamour model' videos and represents the kind of objectification we thought dance music had long grown out of.
If you're still not convinced that EDMTV is abominable, the channel has unveiled what one might loosely define as a homemade video project, stitching together iPhone shout outs from DJs like Danny Avila, Dada Life and Rusko and attempting to pass it off as a promotional video (check out the dance music brand logos that are ripped to its website homepage, too).
Top EDM Artists Showing Their Support for EDMTV Network!
We want to say thanks to some of our favorite DJs and Producers for sending in their shout outs endorsing EDMTV Network!Showtek / Aero Chord / Dash Berlin / W&W / Robbie Rivera / Sidney Samson / Dada Life / Danny Avila / Martin Solveig / Shogun Audio / Infected Mushroom / John Dahlbäck / Zomboy / Will Sparks / Rusko#EDMTV #EDMTVNETWORK #WEBRINGTHEPARTYPosted by EDMTV Network on Thursday, January 28, 2016
So there you have it. EDMTV has arrived, and we'll go ahead and opt out of the premiere party for this one.
Valerie Lee is Mixmag's West Coast Editor. Follow her on Twitter here