The Secret DJ on walking the fine line between cool and commercial

Both ends of the scale are as ludicrous as each other in their way; and naturally, the ideal lies somewhere in the middle of these daft extremes. To be trapped in either is as painful as the other. A true DJ has to be prepared to cope with the extremities, and everything in between. You have to ask in each professional situation: what is my function here? Amateurs only see DJing in mono. There is only one setting for part-timers, and that is the one where they do whatever they want, regardless. But professionals are called on to DJ in many types of set-ups, often with no idea what they are getting into until they’re pushed on stage, blinking their bafflement into the lasers.

Recently I supported a painfully hip mega-star at another club. The very large venue was programmed well for once, with a great variety of styles. The main guy was famously eclectic, which is how I like to play too when I can. The supporting acts were all playing precisely the sort of cool shit I usually play. Consequently I told the venue that I’d play some rare 80s pop records, because frankly, what’s the point of trying to compete with your peers in the same building? In short, I had a lot of fun. And so did everyone else in there.

But then, in the week, the inevitable online bitching began. The word was out that I was ‘cheese’. Lordy! If I had a dime every time someone said I’d been cheesy in a situation where some of the crowd were elderly DJs who’d heard everything and weren’t dancing, and most of the crowd were chuffin’ lovin’ it… well I’d have nearly three dollars.