29 March 2013
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12. Zedd vs Common sense
Dubstep failed to succumb to Bieber fever when Justin brought a (mild) wobble to pop ballad ‘As Long As You Love Me’. While most of the dance community put the boot in, producer Zedd defended the teeny heartthrob – whom he later went on to collaborate with.

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11. Mr C vs Excitable DJs

Noveau Dickensian prankster turned global club impresario Mr C recently found time between gigs to declare: “DJs that stand in the booth with their arms in the air are fakes and charlatans.” While those that stand po-faced glaring at the crowd are 100 per cent legit, obviously…

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10. Eminem vs Moby

Accused of gay-bashing? Then offer oral sex to the man who dissed you. That was Eminem’s cunning plan with the lines “You 36-year-old bald-headed fag / blow me” in narky 90s hit ‘Without Me’, added after Moby called him a racist and a homophobe at the Grammys.

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9. Junior Vasquez vs Madonna

Back in the 90s Junior Vasquez and Madge were BFFs – until the Material Girl went AWOL for an slot at one of his parties and Junior got revenge by sampling her answerphone message on tribal house track ‘If Madonna Calls’. She doesn’t call any more… 

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8. Goldie vs Keith Prodigy

Never a man to avoid an argument, d’n’b legend Goldie once proudly wore a T-shirt featuring Keith Prodigy’s head with the cheery line ‘cunt face’, after mad Keef dissed his fiancee Björk in an interview. They made up later after Keith explained that he’d been misquoted.

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7. Justice vs The Internet

There were smirks aplenty among tech-heads in 2008 when dance duo Justice were photographed fiddling with an uplugged bit of kit during one of their pile-driving live shows. Online flak abounded before cool-as-ice Gaspard responded with “I plugged it back in. Big deal,” and a Gallic shrug.

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6. Sasha vs EDM

Sasha risked the wrath of a whole generation of DJs and producers when he took to the internets to slag off EDM. “Most EDM is made by douchebags, by douchebags,” quipped the one-time Son of God, somewhat inadvisedly. On our command, unleash Twitter!

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5. The Chemical Brothers vs Swedish House Mafia /Tommie Sunshine

Keeping up the EDM debate, Ed Chemical recently dismissed SHM’s ‘Don’t You Worry Child’ as ‘drivel’. SHM fan Tommie Sunshine stepped up to slag off Ed’s “fucking salty” attitude to commercially successful house.

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4. Afrojack vs Paris Hilton

Hotel heir and online grot queen Paris Hilton started the internet snarking with her pitiful attempt at pretend mixing during a 2012 ‘DJ’ appearance. Ex-boyfriend Afrojack memorably remarked that “you can’t just pitch your flanger up and down and wave a flag.” 

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3. Rusko vs Texas

For most DJs, bribing the sound guy is the best way to guarantee maximum impact in a club. But bassbin-rumbler Rusko chose a different tack at a gig in Texas: lambasting the sound engineer over the mike. He was later hospitalised, but for dehydration – thankfully not gunshot wounds.

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2. SHM vs DJ Sneak

Dance music’s longest-running beef began when filter disco supremo DJ Sneak slagged Swedish House Mafia for “vandalising and bastardising dance music”. Steve Angello got stuck in, while the normally unflappable Sebastian Ingrosso described Sneak as a “fucking douchebag”. Oof.

1. Deadmaus vs Dance Music

Don’t mess with Deadmaus. Ever since he discovered Twitter, no-one has been safe from his razor-edged rodent rage. Madonna got a tongue-lashing for a clumsy reference to ‘molly’ at the Ultra Music Festival (“If you’re gonna come into my world, at least do it with more dignity,” he said) and he also managed to upset everyone from David Guetta to (particularly) A Guy Called Gerald by dismissing live dance acts as “button-pushers”. Perhaps it’s too hot under that giant helmet…




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